I feel worthless, for contradictory reasons though. I feel that pursuing my music aspirations is pointless due to no one caring about it, however, the fact is – none care for it because I hadn’t made any reasons for anyone to care.
That’s the overall irony of the modern life of …….anything, really. If you don’t make whatever you want apparent then it won’t get noticed.
And that’s my main issue – a part of me wishes to be forgotten, yet another is screaming for attention, and each day, one prevails over another and I end up rubber-banding each day.
I don’t really know where I’m heading with this,to be honest.
This dream of mine is what keeps me going.
When I’m out walking in the CBD, I often wonder at the people if this is the way they want their life to be – was that their ambition. Likewise with my father, when I stare at him, I wonder if he has achieved what he set out to years ago, or did he give up on it. Did they all give up on their ambition? It’s something I’ve often contemplated and borderline done, however, there’s always this internal thing saying to keep on walking the path I’ve chosen…. and I may as well, I don’t care if I’m poor or alone. All that matters to me is that I’m satisfied with myself. To achieve that is to achieve my dream. Whatever it may take.